I was watching highlights from Real Madrid’s 7-1 demolition of Osasuna, and something really jumped out at me. It wasn’t the ease at which the Merengues got through onto goal, nor the ridiculous final score, nor the strange sight of the Bernabeu in broad daylight. It was Cristiano Ronaldo’s hairstyle, or more appropriately, his hairstyles.
Ronaldo came out and showed off his newly-awarded golden boot trophy before the match with his hair spiked and his collar popped. He played well, scored the opening goal, and Madrid went in to half-time up 2-1. Early in the second half, as Ronaldo notched his second and third goals, I noticed that his hair was slicked back tightly on his head. This leads me to conclude that the following absurdity occurred between the first and second halves at the Santiago Bernabéu:
On his way into the locker room, Ronaldo caught a glimpse of himself and his spiky ‘do in the mirror and thought "oh gosh, I’m not so sure about those spikes". As Mourinho droned on about putting Osasuna away early on in the second half, Ronaldo was thinking about his hair and worrying that the spiky style that he had so carefully constructed before the match just didn’t look all that good after all. Once the speech was over, Ronaldo rushed to his locker for a comb and some more gel, then positioned himself in front of the mirror to carefully smooth away the spikes. This process likely took a good five minutes, and Ronaldo was perhaps urged to forget about his hair and join the rest of the squad in returning to the field. A bit flustered, Ronaldo took one last check in the mirror, threw down his comb, and hurried back onto the pitch.
While the events may not have transpired exactly as I describe them above, one thing is clear: Ronaldo is overly concerned with his appearance. For a guy with an unwanted reputation as a prima donna, he certainly isn’t doing himself any favors. It’s little things like this that make one realize he deserves most every bit of criticism he receives. Ronaldo is either vain or incredibly insecure (or both), and his priorities clearly place image above character, and style over substance.
One reason I’ll always take Messi over Ronaldo: at half-time I know he’s listening to Pep and not fretting about his hair.