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Barca Bla Bla Stinker of the Week: Jose Mourinho

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Tell me Ronaldo, how was it training with the legendary Jacques Cousteau?
Tell me Ronaldo, how was it training with the legendary Jacques Cousteau?

According to an online article, Real Madrid’s Jose Mourinho is seriously suggesting that La Liga defenders are awestruck by Lionel Messi’s mere presence on the pitch to the point that they go out their way to grant him free passage towards their goal.

Unfortunately the published report is only available in Spanish but here’s a raw translation:

Ronaldo always plays at the top of his capabilities; he gives his all for the team. Besides, while the opponents are afraid to touch 'the other' and just make way for him, they tackle Ronaldo very hard. But he has a good body and is strong enough to take it."

Hmm, I agree with the Special One’s assertion that Cristiano Ronaldo is at the peak of his physical condition. Ronaldo is an underwear model for Armani after all. But for a guy who stands 1.86m (6 ft 1 in) tall, he rather goes down fairly easy whenever he is in our around the penalty area.

Lionel Messi on the other hand barely cracks 1.70m (5 ft 7 in) is usually swarmed with opposing defenders yet he somehow manages to stay on his feet. Arguably 99.99 per cent of all La Liga defenders are taller and, yes, stronger than him but for reasons unknown to mankind he is able to take multiple blows unlike the Portuguese underwear model. Some of Ronaldo’s highlights can be watched in the video below:

Diving 101

And let’s see how La Liga defenders treat La Pulga

Messi never dive (new!) (via allas14)

Jose, now I see it too. It’s unbelievable how officials, referees, fans and pundits could’ve missed this. Cristiano Ronaldo is Jacques Cousteau heir apparent. The world of diving has lost its biggest and brightest talent to the very physical sport of football. Ronaldo himself would’ve killed two birds with one stone. He could’ve run – oops, my bad, I’ve meant to say dive - around shirtless and underwear-like speedos for a living instead of playing football which just happen to be a contact sport.

Therefore Jose Mourinho will be crowned this week’s Barca Bla Bla Stinke of the Week.

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