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Real Madrid vs FC Barcelona: A Tongue-in-Cheek look at El Clasico

Good times...
Good times...

Just for fun...

Time to embarrass everyone who still has some affection for Madrid. I'm dying for a three goal margin victory for us. I want Mourinho sacked/resigned/whatever, not because he makes Madrid different, but so people can stop talking about him like a football god. With what the guy has been allowed by Madridistas to do, I pity Fabio Capello and Manuel Pellegrini for the efforts and respect they had for the historical club. Here are my messages to a few of the players and club representatives...

My message to Puyol and Alves: Please do not allow Ronnie boy a shot on goal; I want his fans to murder him (figuratively) after this encounter.

To Ramos: Keep your hands behind your back and watch The Flea fly.

To Pepe and Marcelo: Remember that red card please, don't you dare disappoint the Cules.

To Fabregas: Please keep on scoring, we Cules don't stand the thought of you growing any more hair, it's disgusting. There is only one Puyol!!!

To Saint Iker: Please let goals in, I want to see you do The Casillas Face
To Xabi Mr Alonso: You cost me a serious bet the other day, I want that yellow card on the 30th minute tonight!!! Ok?

To The Merengues: Please don't hesitate to Boo your team, we Cules love discussing that stuff. Am I right @Indermethil?

To our players: Win a penalty and let Pinto take it, Maybe Tim H. can stop bragging. Lol, sh**ty EPL defending ;-)

Quotes of the week from The Fictional Spanish Paper (TFSP express):

Mourinho: "Yes! Yes! Yes! Hey come here Karanka, I just figured out Pep's team, I'm going to have a man to man-mark their keeper. Don't worry my friend; they'll be the one's poking our eyes this time! Yay!"

Di Stefano: "Eish, I should get myself one of those Barcelona membership cards, these Ronaldos and Mourinhos of the world are making me embarrassed to be a Madridsta. I should probably start by calling Cruyff..."

Pep Guardiola: "4-3-3 or 3-4-3? Ah F**k it, I've done it all, tonight I'm attacking with Puyol, Pique and Mascherano. My boys Messi, Alexis and Cuenca will practice tackling during the pre-match warm up. Let's see whose name people will remember in a 100 years’ time, I'm pretty sure it won't be Cruyff's..."

Marca to AS: "Hey AS, I'm starting to think we are on the wrong side here, can you ask Di Stefano about that ticket to Barcelona?"

Reporter to Ronaldo: "So what's your prediction for tonight Ronnie?"

Ronaldo: "We'll win by the 5 goals I'll score in extra time, (after taking 5 seconds to think) F**k!!!! That's just wrong isn't?"

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