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Dani Alves confirms Barcelona exit, says he'll move to England

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YOU NEVER GUESS WHO SAID HE'S LEAVING AGAIN

I'M SERIOUS, I'M LEAVING!
I'M SERIOUS, I'M LEAVING!
David Ramos

Spoiler alert: Dani Alves is leaving Barcelona.

Of course you already know that. He's been teasing that all summer. Barça's sporting director Andoni Zubizarreta said he's leaving after this season. He said two weeks ago that this is his last campaign. Now, he has said it again! This time to Brazilian newspaper "O Globo". Alves is opening a restaurant in Barcelona and he invited a journalist from Brazil to, you know, eat and talk and stuff.

In the middle of the conversation, Alves said this:

"Next year I'm moving to England. I will play in the birthplace of football. This is my last season at Barcelona."

Source: O Globo

Look, Dani, you know I'll always love you. You're the greatest right-back in the history of the greatest club in the world. That will never change. Even though you suck right now, that doesn't negate what you have done for us. But we already know that you're leaving. Just stop teasing it. Play the season, have a Joan Gamper Trophy honoring you and then go away. It's that simple.

Oh, and give me some free food at your restaurant. I'm the only one at this website that loves you. I deserve it.