Cesc Fabregas is a Chelsea player. He will be managed by Jose Mourinho.
Given the animosity between Mourinho and Barcelona, this is madness. Doubly so given the rivalry between Chelsea and Barcelona. Triply so given that Cesc spent time at Arsenal, Chelsea's crosstown rivals.
Fabregas revealed he wanted to re-join Arsenal at first, but was told no by their coach, Arsene Wenger. He had other options, but ultimately he chose Chelsea because of a conversation with Mourinho, his former enemy.
"He won me over and convinced me," the Catalan admitted. But what "special" words could he have said to turn Cesc away from Barcelona?
The answer is: we don't know. But that certainly won't stop us from guessing...
Mou: "Your destiny lies with me, young Fabregas. Wenger knew this to be true."
Mou: "There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you. You do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the Premier League."
Cesc: "I'll never join you!"
Mou: "If you only knew the *power* of the dark side. Wenger never told you who will be your new manager."
Cesc: "He told me enough!"
Mou: "I am your new manager.
Cesc: "No. No. That's not true! That's impossible!"
Mou: "Search your feelings. You know it to be true."
Cesc: "No! No! No!"
Mou: "The Emperor (Roman Abramovic) has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule football. Come with me. It is the only way."
At this point, a hero would have refused the evil offer. But this being real life, Cesc decided to take a huge wad of cash and join Chelsea.
Life sucks sometimes.