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Manchester United make huge bid, negotiating with Barcelona superstar -- report

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Since Manchester United didn't get Pedro, they're now looking for another Barcelona winger. No biggie. Wait, it is a biggie!

According to The Sun, the Red Devils, represented by their vice-chairman Ed Woodward, have held discussions with the Blaugrana for over three months to sign Brazilian superstar Neymar. United are desperate to make a big-name signing, and they've elected to use all their cards on the 23-year-old. Also according to the report, Woodward secretly met with Barça officials three times in person to negotiate details of the deal, which is believed to be around €140 million.

Now, here's a few reasons to why this is one of the most hilarious rumors of the whole summer:

1. Man United don't need a left winger. Memphis Depay is really good, and he only plays on the left. Just like Neymar, he's not the same on other parts of the attack. So this doesn't make sense on the tactical side.

2. Neymar has rejected offers from the Premier League when he was still in Brazil because he only wanted to play for Barça. So this doesn't make sense because the player does not want to leave.

3. The 'MSN' trio is the scariest attacking force on the planet, and Neymar might just be one of the five best footballers in the world already. So this doesn't make sense because the Blaugrana will have the best footballer around once Messi and Ronaldo start to decline with age.

4. Neymar is very close to sign a new contract, which will make him the highest paid footballer on the planet not named Lionel Messi, so this doesn't make sense because Neymar won't get as good of a contract anywhere else.

5. United couldn't sign Pedro. How would they sign freaking Neymar?

But hey, one can dream, right? Especially The Sun.