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Football! The beautiful sport of eleven players. No, wait, ten…nine?

This a football game or a countdown?

FC Barcelona v Atletico Madrid - Copa Del Rey Semi-final: Second Leg Photo by Alex Caparros/Getty Images

If you’ve watched enough football throughout your life, then most likely, at one point or another, you’ve complained about the refereeing. No shame in admitting it; we all have. It also extremely likely, then, that you’ve also wished there were more technology in the game, as a way to produce better refereeing results and add accountability. All of us have already seen this year one instance in which technology would have benefited the team. After the last match, though, I started wondering: what would happen if football were completely automatized, with little room for both human error and opinion? The grand majority of yellow cards yesterday were extremely soft, yes, but they were the nearest I’ve ever seen the referee to enforcing the rule book with equanimity and brutal severity.

The match did not lack any excitement from the start, and all the referee accomplished was angering both fan-bases, and seeming a bit touched. One mustn’t blame the referee, alas. His dad was a painter, you see, and before he disappeared one wintry morn, he taught his son all he knew about the business. His disappearance had a terrible effect on his son, however. Nowadays, the poor lad roams about the pitch, producing cards of the sharpest primary colors with reckless abandon. Now, Luis Enrique must face the final without Suárez and Sergi Roberto, choosing his teams and his tactics carefully.

Irish Goat’s Gamboling Goleadores!

1st Goleador: Jacobus Antonius Peter Cillessen

Yeah, I googled his name. I knew it was something fancy but there was no way I would have guessed. It is of absolute necessity that there be competition between our goalkeepers. We all saw what happened to MAtS at the start of the season when he felt confident in his role. Please, correct me if I am wrong, but I’ve the feeling MAtS has been more consistent since Cillessen started getting more playing time. But the focus shouldn’t be on MAtS. Cillessen dominated in his performance against Simeone’s men. Barcelona struggled to find their footing at the start of the match, and it was solely this man’s genius that kept the blaugrana in this game. Even the smirk flashed at Gameiro was bloody brilliant.

2nd Goleador: Samuel Umtiti

Je t'aime, toi, bel homme. Tu es le meilleur! People often say French is the most beautiful language in the world, the language of love. I never knew until I met this man. What class. What audacity. As cold-blooded as Abidal and as fierce as Puyol.

3rd Goleador: Lionel Messi

I am glad Messi did not score that free kick goal. If he had, you might as well set off a few nukes and set us on our way to the Thunderdome, as there is nothing left in this world that would have given us as much excitement as that. Two men enter, one man leaves!

As always Visca Barça!

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