Gollum: We hates Neymar! Cruel Neymar is trying to leave us and trick us!
Sméagol: No, no, no! Neymar would never do that to us!
Gollum: Poor Sméagol. You think tricksy Neymar likes you? Noooooobody likes you!
Sméagol: But Neymar seems so happy!
Gollum: Wicked Neymar! Loses the ball too often! Wants to sign all his fat Brazilian friendses!
Sméagol: But Neymar gives us goals!
Gollum: But he’s always going to his sister’s birthday party!
Sméagol: But look at all his dribbles! Neymar would never betray us. This is just made up rumors and false, wicked tricks! Neymar is our friend!
Gollum: You have no friends! Brazilian journalistes confirm he wants to leave!
Sméagol: Not listening! Not listening! It’s just the fat, wicked, silly season!
Gollum: We must sell him for precious money! So beautiful, so sweet!
Sméagol: Yes! Yes! Precious money!
Gollum: Yes, we will find so many better replacements! Like Dybala and...
Gollum: Dembele and...
Gollum: Paulinho and...
Sméagol: NOOOOOOOOOO! LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK!